I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
