OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
