Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
