i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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