Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
they need to just BURY HIM!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
