he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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