y did u give ur computer a hand job?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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