and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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