You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
