Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
