Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
