you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
