he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Holy sore nipples Batman
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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