speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
