Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
