i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
