i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
