dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
