Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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