After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
