I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was so not down for the gang bang
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize