Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize