You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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