If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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