Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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