y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
