I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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