are you still at the devil's house?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
