everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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