Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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