My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
wow bdsm is so cute
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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