Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
