if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize