Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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