His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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