White coat. Heels.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
porn star boner night. come get it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
