No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
