so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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