Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
