please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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