Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
