Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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