I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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