Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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