my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
