I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
