I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
