We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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