Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
