you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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