That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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