I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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